How to get your partner to agree to DNA test
Asking for a paternity test can be uncomfortable, especially if you and your partner are in a committed relationship. Even when the conversation is handled delicately, there are bound to be hurt feelings and additional conversations that follow.
When the paternity of a child is in question, the most reliable way to get definitive answers is with a DNA paternity test. But what if you’re not listed as the father on the birth certificate and the mother won’t give permission for the child to be tested? As a mother, what if you suspect a man is the biological father of your child but he refuses to test?
If you are the father asking for a paternity test
- Explain your reasons for wanting to verify the child’s paternity
First, you should explain why you would like a paternity test, whether it is to ease your mind or eliminate even the smallest suspicions. However, remember that to avoid coming off as insulting or offensive, you shouldn’t be accusatory. Your respect for her will make the mother more likely to participate in the paternity testing process.
- Have a matured discussion
Do your best to stay calm and composed, even if the woman is not able to do the same, because of course she will be agitated, shouting matches never accomplish anything positive for either party, and losing your temper can actually invalidate your argument in the other person’s eyes. For the sake of your child, keep your cool.
If you are the mother asking the potential father for a paternity test
If you do choose to have this conversation and involve him in the process, there are several things you should mention:
1. Make him understand that the paternity test is for his own well-being
Explain that your interest in a paternity test stems from your concern for his own well-being. Informing him that you are not trying to deceive him and would like to give him the opportunity to know for certain if he is the father can reassure him and let him know your heart is in the right place.
2. Discuss the future of your relationship and the child in both possible outcomes.
The next important step in this conversation is to establish an understanding of what’s next, for both the child and your relationship. Discuss each of your wishes for both possible scenarios, whether he is or is not the father. Possible questions to consider are: Do you still love each other? Do you want to stay together, even if he is not the father? What would be best for the child? Expressing your opinions in all of these matters will give the conversation some closure with as few lingering concerns as possible.
Try to Get a Court-Ordered Paternity Test if all Else Fails.
Unfortunately, sometimes talks can break down no matter how hard you try. A parent can refuse initially to take a paternity test, but a court can (and often does) compel them to take one anyway. You should first try doing everything you can to prevent having to go to court.
Court-ordered testing: this happens when one of the partner decided to take the matter to court because of the refusal of the other partner, if the court orders that a test is required, it will be a legal paternity test. The only difference between a legal test and a peace-of-mind test you do at home is that the identification of participants, DNA sample collections, and sample mailing are all witnessed by a third-party impartial person. This ensures that everyone is who they say they are for the test, and that no fraud can occur. But the actual testing process at the lab and the paternity test report are exactly the same.
Being denied a paternity test is a bump in the road, but it’s by no means the end of the highway. Of course, it’s best if you can resolve the issue between you both without having to go to court, but you do have legal options if your best efforts to convince the other party aren’t successful.
Lynx DNA offers a wide choice of Paternity Test services designed to provide accurate answers to emotional questions. Whether you are looking to verify paternity, confirm sibling-ship, for peace of mind or for legal use, we are able to provide the appropriate DNA Test at the most competitive rates, confidentially and professionally.
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